Untitled
by Sir John Harington, from A New Discourse of a Stale Subject; Called the Metamorphosis of Ajax, Written by Misacmos to his Friend and Cousin Philostilpnos.

Sir John Harington invented the first known valve closet (a precursor to the modern toilet) in the late 1500s. Queen Elizabeth I (a relative of Harington's) had the device installed in Richmond Palace. A New Discourse of a Stale Subject was a book he wrote about the device, giving practical advice for construction in a fictional setting. For an excellent introduction to Harington and the water closet, see Roy Palmer, The Water Closet (Newton Abbot, Devon: David and Charles Limited, 1973).

A goodly Father sitting on a draught,
To doe as need, and Nature hath us taught,
Mumbled, as was his manner, certaine prayers:
And unto him, the Divell straight repaires,
And boldly to revile him he begins,
Alleaging, that such prayers are deadly sinnes;
And that it proved he was devoid of grace,
To speak to God in so unfit a place.
The reverend man, though at first dismayed,
Yet strong in faith, thus to the Divell said:
Thou damned Spirit, wicked, false and lying,
Despairing thine owne good, and ever envying:
Each take his due, and me thou canst not hurt,
To God my prayer I meant, to thee the dirt.
Pure prayer ascends to him that high doth sit.
Downe falls the filth, for fiends of hell more fit.

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