"Like we say in the sewer, time and tide wait for no man."
-Ed Norton, "Ralph Kramden, Inc. "

"As we say in the sewer, here's mud in your eye."
-Ed Norton, "Head of the House"

"When the tides of life turn against you
And the current upsets your boat
Don't waste those tears on what might have been;
Just lay on your back and float."
-Ed Norton, "The Safety Award"

"If pizzas were manhole covers, the sewer would be a paradise."
-Ed Norton, "Pardon My Glove"

"You can take the man out of the sewer, but you can't take the sewer out of the man."
-Trixie Norton, "Mind Your Own Business"

"A sewer worker is like a brain surgeon. We're both specialists."
-Ed Norton, "Mind Your Own Business"

"As we say in the sewer, if you're not prepared to go all the way, don't put your boots on in the first place."
-Ed Norton, "Confusion Italian Style"

RALPH: "It's rush hour. "We'll never be able to get across town in this traffic."
ED: "Trust me, we'll go by sewer."
"Beat the Clock"

RALPH: (annoyed with Norton for helping himself to the barber's after-shave lotion): "How would you like him to come down to the sewer where you work and help himself to anything down there?"
ED: "Help himself to what?"
"The Baby-sitter"

RALPH: (sarcastically explaining to Norton why his water pipes don't work): "I hope that you realize that water always seeks its level."
ED: "Yes, we've heard rumors to that effect down in the sewer."
"Dial J for Janitor"

RALPH: "What do you know about golf?"
ED: "I've been working in the sewer for ten years. If that don't qualify me as an expert on holes, I give up."
"The Golfer"

RALPH: "I've always followed that old adage: Be kind to people you meet on the way up, because you're going to meet the same people on the way down."
ED: "Happens to me every day in the sewer."
"On Stage"

Return to miscellaneous index